This is It

I have never been one of those people who invites people into my life easily.  I like and enjoy people socially, but inviting them into my life on a personal level is a whole other monster, one whose tracks I rarely follow.  So, for me, friendship, the stepping stone to any relationship, is a serious matter...it is about fun and lightness, support and comfort, confidences and truth, and add in a few cocktails and great songs to dance to...and you have yourself a party!!!! 

I have had many an ordeal in my life...fighting death, moving across country, man after man after man after man problems, law school, confrontations, family issues...you name it!  Friends are those people who celebrate your victories and dry your tears during your failures.  So, when one of my friends is celebrating a victory or mourning a loss, I want to be there for them because they are like family to me, I care for them just as much, if not more, than I do some of my actual family. 

So when you realize you really don't care anymore...?

I wear my heart on my sleeve and my attitude on my face.  It is not hard to read me, I tend to not hide it well.  I have alot going on in my life at this moment, and I really don't need it complicated, especially by somoeone who does not seem to really care too much about anyone or anything but themselves.  My mother always says that people can say or do whatever they want, with the understanding that the person to whome their words or actions are directed is going to have a reaction...it might be walking away, it might be socking you dead in your eye, it might be hugging you, it might be putting one through your temple...you never know!  For every action, in other words, there is a reaction...maybe equal maybe not.  You can say whatever you feel...you can do whatever you want.  At the end of your turn, I get a turn. 
So, when I have resolved my hurt feelings and my "fuck you" attitude, at the end of all of that, I am left with just one simple question...continue or end.  And at this point in my life...as someone I love dearly has so eloquently and realistically written...all dead shit must end. 

I don't think I could ever have the same fun with you; there is a thick smog in the air that has ruined the lightness; I get more support from a training bra; smog makes it really uncomfortable to breathe; I am no more confident in my ability to be your friend than I am in my ability to be honest with you without fallout...and while I plan to have many cocktails, I probably should refrain around you for fear the truth serum will really make me tell u what I am feeling, and the party...the party always goes on!

And you are correct my dear friend...all dead shit must end.  Mourn it, bury it, and move on. 

"Ya'll should grow the fuck up, come here lemme coach you"

Song of the Day:  On to the Next One-Jay-Z