The Point of It All

...is I love you.

I recall hearing someone say that because they loved someone they were going to marry them.  I recall hearing many people say that, including myself.  I am here to tell you, marriage is not about love.

Marriage is a human contract, between two people to unite themselves spiritually, physically, and financially.  The emotional part, that most often comes before.  You already love the person, you have loved the person for year or months or weeks.  You care for them, have their best interests at heart, share your lives and experiences.  However, the decision to get married is about taking that romantic relationship to another level...they call it "another level" for a reason.

Take the romantic notions of the WEDDING out of your head, and concentrate on the daily work of marriage, and it is work, daily.  It is about making financial decisions, child-rearing decisions, personal decision, decisions about the home, work, cars, insurance, I could go on and on.  The love will change and grow and mellow out over the years, but the work is constant, constantly hard work.  Part of the problem is that we spend SO MUCH time talking about how much we love each other before we marry, and not enough time figuring out how we are going to handle our marriage, the business of the marriage.
Yardwork, cleaning, bills, kids, saving, vacations.  Those simple things we overlook, we never discuss. So Suzy finds herself constantly angry because Billy misses taking the trash out every Monday, because he is watching football.  Billy is upset because Suzy is not stern with their son and lets him get away with murder, and throws a fit when Billy punishes him.  Billy believes that because he makes more, he can spend more.  Suzy believes that he work as a parent is just as important, and she should have equal rights where the finances are concerned.

These people, like so many others didn't discuss the business of marriage, and find themselves not honoring
the contract they made, not working as a unit, not being equitable, respecting each other, communicating their problems, and being dedicated to working them out.  Billy and Suzy, like so many of us, thought that as long as they had a good sex life, the bills were paid, and their mother-in-laws stayed to themselves, that they would have the perfect marriage.  Marriage, takes hard work.  It takes a dedication to making it work.  It takes the realization that love is beautiful and wonderful and a part of a marriage, but by no means the whole kit and kaboodle.  Marriage is just like Microsoft, when the budget is met, when the workers are paid a fair wage for their work, when everyone pulls their weight, there is one head of the company, everyone knows their part, and shows up...u can take over the world.

Song of the Day: The Point of it All by Anthony Hamilton

Making Sense of it All

I think I tasted love today
I kissed the sweetness of your lips
U made my tastebuds do flips
Somersalted bitter splits, a sweet and sour eclipse

I think I felt love today
Hard as steel, smooth on my skin
Where the rough ends and soft begins
Thick cottony clouds of love worn thin

I think I heard love today
Beats like bass with treble tones
Acoustic guitars and deep trombones
Make a blues and funk love jones

I think I smelled love today
Wafts of buttery boulangerie delights
Stimulate my appetite
I want to taste and take a bite!

If he or she cannot make you feel like this, most of the time, get further. 

Simply Irresistable

"She's so fine, there's no tellin where the money went..."

Do you struggle with your looks...think your butt is too big, your nose too wide, your hair too wild, your stomach pokes out just a tad too much, your feet are big, your skin not tanned enough...whatever...well join the millions of women who feel that same way, or worse...and start turning those thoughts around. 

Have you ever seen a couple, an average man with a beautiful woman, and you can tell the man is awful pleased with himself...not because of her, but becasue of his own thoughts of grandeur.  Sure you have.  Well, take a cue from that guy, you know him...with the beer belly, man boobs, bad skin, and balding head...he knows his worth, so he is happy with himself, and knows that that woman is happy with him...because he takes care of her, keeps her well dressed, keeps her spa appointments, hair appoints, and manicure appointments paid for, and makes sure she has Frette sheets to lay her head on at night. 

Well...what is your worth?
You are a woman! 
You can take care of someone like nobody's business, cook a mean pan of mac and cheese, wipe your kids nose, wear 4 inch heels without tripping and falling, balance your checkbook, read the book on Oprah's book club list in under 10 hours, carry on a conversation about The Backyardigans, the Steelers, or the stock market, put on a dress and look like a queen, and at night, make your man feel like a big ole stud...even if he is just a muffin!

That big nose, those wide hips, and those big feet be damned!   Let your thoughts about yourself hinge on those things and traits that are important to you: success, career, family, love, health, etc. When we take stock of those things that REALLY and TRULY matter, very rarely does the size of our feet or our ass take center stage.  Take note of those things you would like to change, and work those changes into your life.  But at the end of the day...and as long as you are doing the best you can with what God gave you, you are simply irresistable!

A Woman's Worth

" Cause a real man, knows a real woman, when he sees her..."

Emphasis on the word "REAL"

What is a real man, what is a real woman....and how do you know you have found one?
Well...u just have to look the basics of manhood and womanhood and see if the person is going towards those or against those...
Manhood...men are taught to protect and provide. 
Womanhood...women are taught to love, to nurture, to support. 

So, if you have a man who makes it his major business to take care of you, financially and otherwise, and to make sure that at all costs, ALL COSTS, you are safe and secure...he is a man.
If you have a woman, who loves you with all of her being without conditions, she takes care of you and lets you know you are appreciated, and she stands by you...she is a woman. 
A woman will still be a woman, even if you are not a man...and vice versa.  She may cease loving, nurturing, and supporting you....but she will forever be those things to the man who provides and protects her.  Same for a man...if you are loving him, taking care of him, and supporting him...he is going to provide and protect for you, period.  If he is not, he does not quite understand what being a man is about...

Part of that protection and providing...is about honoring you.  He loves you, he wants to see that you have everything you need and want.  He wants to make sure you are happy, you are smiling, and you are able to give him what he needs, because you have what you need.  He will keep his word, he will adhere to your standards, and he will be the man that you need him to be, in order for you to stay with him.  If you have only some of that, you have what older people like to call a "piece'o'man"...and you should want and you deserve a whole man....one with arms, legs, shoulders, a brain, a heart, and courage. 

A real man knows a woman's worth.  He knows that he cannot get that kind of love and support from anyone else, and no matter how close he and his friends are, he and his mother are, or he and his brothers are...he will honor you and keep you...and provide and protect, because he knows your worth. 

Something to See

The wonder of a child is amazing...

I have been in love and out of love.  I have loved and lost.  But I have never had the feeling I have for my child for anyone else ever, and I never will.  He is this miraculous gift, an expression of love, a small person with his own unique personality, ways of thinking, mind, and heart.  He is different from me in as many ways as he is like me. 
He is friendly, loves people, a free spirit, simple, and patient. 
He loves music, dancing, love, he is passionate and he is smart. 

I can look at his beautiful face, all day long.  I am amazed at how fast he learns things.  I am amazed at how fast he grows.  He is a joy and a beauty to behold. 
I love my son...I will always be in complete and utter love with him. 
Love your children, be at your best for them, so they can be better than you! 

"I see your picture, your name in lights above it..."

Song of the Day" Peg by Steely Dan