The Point of It All

...is I love you.

I recall hearing someone say that because they loved someone they were going to marry them.  I recall hearing many people say that, including myself.  I am here to tell you, marriage is not about love.

Marriage is a human contract, between two people to unite themselves spiritually, physically, and financially.  The emotional part, that most often comes before.  You already love the person, you have loved the person for year or months or weeks.  You care for them, have their best interests at heart, share your lives and experiences.  However, the decision to get married is about taking that romantic relationship to another level...they call it "another level" for a reason.

Take the romantic notions of the WEDDING out of your head, and concentrate on the daily work of marriage, and it is work, daily.  It is about making financial decisions, child-rearing decisions, personal decision, decisions about the home, work, cars, insurance, I could go on and on.  The love will change and grow and mellow out over the years, but the work is constant, constantly hard work.  Part of the problem is that we spend SO MUCH time talking about how much we love each other before we marry, and not enough time figuring out how we are going to handle our marriage, the business of the marriage.
Yardwork, cleaning, bills, kids, saving, vacations.  Those simple things we overlook, we never discuss. So Suzy finds herself constantly angry because Billy misses taking the trash out every Monday, because he is watching football.  Billy is upset because Suzy is not stern with their son and lets him get away with murder, and throws a fit when Billy punishes him.  Billy believes that because he makes more, he can spend more.  Suzy believes that he work as a parent is just as important, and she should have equal rights where the finances are concerned.

These people, like so many others didn't discuss the business of marriage, and find themselves not honoring
the contract they made, not working as a unit, not being equitable, respecting each other, communicating their problems, and being dedicated to working them out.  Billy and Suzy, like so many of us, thought that as long as they had a good sex life, the bills were paid, and their mother-in-laws stayed to themselves, that they would have the perfect marriage.  Marriage, takes hard work.  It takes a dedication to making it work.  It takes the realization that love is beautiful and wonderful and a part of a marriage, but by no means the whole kit and kaboodle.  Marriage is just like Microsoft, when the budget is met, when the workers are paid a fair wage for their work, when everyone pulls their weight, there is one head of the company, everyone knows their part, and shows up...u can take over the world.

Song of the Day: The Point of it All by Anthony Hamilton