Friday, July 9, 2010

One More Chance

"If I stumble if I fall, just help me back."

We all make mistakes.  Some of our mistakes are forgivable, and some...well...heinous crimes!
For every action there is a reaction, that you cannot control, and once you make a mistake, the next move is on the other player.  So, what happens when you are on the giving or the receiving end of that mistake, and you want another chance...

How many times has she said something hurtful?  How many times did he say he would call and did not?  Or what about the time she just never showed up, or he forgot your birthday?
In your heart, you want to forgive, but your head is telling you that someone who cares for you just would not do certain things.  And both your head and your heart are correct.  Forgiveness is important, much more important for you than for them.  However, forgiving someone and allowing or accepting the behavior are not one in the same.  Your head is telling you to make sure they understand that this behavior is not going to be tolerated...or, if this is say, their tenth time doing the same shit over and over, then your head is telling you to stop, look and listen before you get run over by the run away train called Jerk.
Whatever the case, it is key, to take stock of your expectations and your wants, and decide if it is a mistake that can simply be solved by an apology, or if this time, you are going to need some time to make sure they don't think you are a pushover!

Likewise, just as you have been on the receiving end, you have given your fair share too.  I know I have.
When you are the one giving your mate the flux, you have to own up to it, apologize, and assure them that you are not going to continue the same foolish crap.  It is not that easy though.  The real test, is honoring your word.  If you make the assurance, stick to it.  Learn from the way your partner felt, and if you don't want to find yourself partner LESS it might be a good idea to decide to never, purposely, make them feel that way again.  If you continue to do the same stupid stuff over and over, you are purposely hurting them...so stop making those same mistakes.    Also important:  Take stock of those things that you do, like a laundry list, and discard those negative behaviors from your repertoire.  When you see yourself moving towards to acting in those less than desirable ways, punish yourself before you even start.   Could be as simple as making yourself work out a few extra minutes, or it could be one extra date when instead of going dutch, you have to pay.  Bet you will start rethinking those silly mistakes then...when it hits you in the pockets.

Whatever the case, remember that we all are human and subject to a faux pas every now and then!!!


Song of the Day: One More Night by Phil Collins

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