"Life can be only what you make it..."
Most people are fine mediocrity...they think that as long as they are just getting by, that is better than failing. I don't personally agree. Failure is always a better option that mediocrity...because there is a lesson in failure...there is a another shot after you fail. When you are okay with being mediocre, you are stuck in the middle, neither good nor bad, prince nor pauper...and more importantly you are just stuck.
The time is now to reject mediocrity, at least for me. I am not sure that I ever accepted it, but I have found myself there in different aspects of my life, many times. I refuse to be stuck ever again...professionally, personally, emotionally or mentally, physically or spiritually...I am seeking the win...and you don't contribute to the win when you are stuck on the bench the whole game.
Now, it is not as simple as making a decision, although that is the first step. The real key to becoming free to be at your best is by accepting no bullshit, from yourself or others; dealing only in positives and negatives with no in betweens; and opening yourself up to all the wonders of life.
NO BULLSHIT
Don't let anyone tell you the sky is purple when you know its blue. We spend much of our lives listening to other people, allowing their thoughts about us, their opinions, their words, and their fucked up non-facts rule our actions and thoughts. It's fine to seek counsel, but then take those words, evaluate their meaning, their importance, and their relevance, put them in their proper place, and discard them. Dont walk around holding on to other people's thoughts and ideas...because most often, they are laced with poor judgment, dishonesty, disrespect, and yes...bullshit. Do your own research, come to your own conclusions, and make decisions based on your own wants and needs, using counsel only as a frame of reference.
+ and -
We spend alot of time explaining away our aversion to things. We see its bad, but we add a little bit of this a little bit of that, and soon it becomes more easy to digest. NO...stop that. If it is bad, its bad...if it is good, its good...it doesn't need a pinch of salt or a dash of pepper for it to be okay just the way it is...if it is good. Now if its bad, the salt will make it send u into sodium shock and the pepper will have u sneezing. So, look at things as they are, without the filler and the additives.
BEING OPEN
The key to being your absolute best, is being open to all the fantastic opportunities the world has to offer. You have to break out of your comfort zone to ever see any real wonders or miracles happen. We limit ourselves in our experiences, in our thoughts, in our emotions, and in our hearts...so that we think we dont deserve certain things, we aren't good enough, or that perhaps we are too good. The truth is that the world works much better with us going around exploring it...finding its and our true treasures.
So take a word from the trying to get wise...live your best life...it is the only life worth having!
Song of the Day" My Life by Mary J. Blige
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Talk to Me
" Your ears should be burning ..."
Women and men communicate differently...it is one of the hard realities of relationships that cause us to have the most friction.
Men are simple. Women are complex.
It is not that men are simple minded or women are difficult...it is at its heart the result of the different ways that we are taught to deal with our emotions, problems, our feelings, etc.
Men are taught to suck it up, be logical and as free from emotion as possible, to get to the result, to push their feelings aside and deal with reality.
Women are taught to cry it out, to let their hearts rule, to be more process driven, to talk about their feelings and to use them when making decisions.
As a result, women are the 2 +2 and men are the 4.
How do we work through these differences in order to have a successful relationship with one another.
Well, I cannot say this is THE answer, but it is the only solution I have come up with thus far.
Getting a man to understand my every in and out would be similar to a sane person trying to understand a serial killer...it is not meant for and sort of impossible for that to happen, unless they both are insane. The same is true with men and women. Women will never understand why men are so simple, and men will never understand all the complexities of a woman. The truth of the matter is...we need to learn to accept what is, love each other, and work through our differences when we come to them, at a middle ground.
A woman wants a man to know when...a man wants to tell a woman when...but neither approach works with the other.
Instead of using the approach that works with YOU, try the approach that works with the person you need something from...and keep in mind that while these are generalizations, there are varying degrees of this from person to person. With me, tell me what you want or need and I will do the same. We can suspend the conversation until after the want or need is met, because we will both be in a better place. For some women, that won't work...so you have to know your mate. If your woman is typcially emotional, get to know her well, so that you can almost sense her wants. If she gets sad and needs to be held, try to get to know what sadness looks like on her. If she gets angry and wants you to get out of the way so she can clean, figure out what angry looks like on her. If she is like me...a little more realistic and a little less emotional...you may be able to get away with being more direct with her.
For women, if you have that man's man, come at him in a way he can understand, straight up no chaser. You need help with the kids, time to yourself, whatever...let him know. Suspend your emotion, don't come at him crying and weepy, just talk to him, he will usually concur, because you have communicated with him in a way that makes sense to him. If your man is a little more emotional, you might be able to be a little less direct...but in my experience, the more direct you are with a man, the better his understanding and more likely your needs or wants will be met.
Communication is key to any healthy relationship. Before you embark on a serious relationship with someone, it is key that you discuss your mode of communication, how you tend to deal with things, and what you can and cannot tolerate, so each of you will be on the same page. Realize that men and women are different, but ultimately we all want to be secure in our relationships, which means knowing that our needs and wants are going to be met.
Song of the Day: House of Cards by Radiohead
Women and men communicate differently...it is one of the hard realities of relationships that cause us to have the most friction.
Men are simple. Women are complex.
It is not that men are simple minded or women are difficult...it is at its heart the result of the different ways that we are taught to deal with our emotions, problems, our feelings, etc.
Men are taught to suck it up, be logical and as free from emotion as possible, to get to the result, to push their feelings aside and deal with reality.
Women are taught to cry it out, to let their hearts rule, to be more process driven, to talk about their feelings and to use them when making decisions.
As a result, women are the 2 +2 and men are the 4.
How do we work through these differences in order to have a successful relationship with one another.
Well, I cannot say this is THE answer, but it is the only solution I have come up with thus far.
Getting a man to understand my every in and out would be similar to a sane person trying to understand a serial killer...it is not meant for and sort of impossible for that to happen, unless they both are insane. The same is true with men and women. Women will never understand why men are so simple, and men will never understand all the complexities of a woman. The truth of the matter is...we need to learn to accept what is, love each other, and work through our differences when we come to them, at a middle ground.
A woman wants a man to know when...a man wants to tell a woman when...but neither approach works with the other.
Instead of using the approach that works with YOU, try the approach that works with the person you need something from...and keep in mind that while these are generalizations, there are varying degrees of this from person to person. With me, tell me what you want or need and I will do the same. We can suspend the conversation until after the want or need is met, because we will both be in a better place. For some women, that won't work...so you have to know your mate. If your woman is typcially emotional, get to know her well, so that you can almost sense her wants. If she gets sad and needs to be held, try to get to know what sadness looks like on her. If she gets angry and wants you to get out of the way so she can clean, figure out what angry looks like on her. If she is like me...a little more realistic and a little less emotional...you may be able to get away with being more direct with her.
For women, if you have that man's man, come at him in a way he can understand, straight up no chaser. You need help with the kids, time to yourself, whatever...let him know. Suspend your emotion, don't come at him crying and weepy, just talk to him, he will usually concur, because you have communicated with him in a way that makes sense to him. If your man is a little more emotional, you might be able to be a little less direct...but in my experience, the more direct you are with a man, the better his understanding and more likely your needs or wants will be met.
Communication is key to any healthy relationship. Before you embark on a serious relationship with someone, it is key that you discuss your mode of communication, how you tend to deal with things, and what you can and cannot tolerate, so each of you will be on the same page. Realize that men and women are different, but ultimately we all want to be secure in our relationships, which means knowing that our needs and wants are going to be met.
Song of the Day: House of Cards by Radiohead
Friday, July 16, 2010
Encore
"My latest,my greatest inspiration...take me higher"
Inspiration came to me yesterday.
He showed me my life, a few years from now, how it could be.
He opened up my heart to the possibility of the same greatness he possesses.
He told me that I added to his potential, that by being an inspiration, I gave him more power.
He took my hand and showed me my success, if I only harnessed all my talents, honored them, and rode those bad boys til the wheels fell off!
I decided in that moment, to listen.
I do alot of coaching, helping, assisting...but this time, if only for a moment, I was being mentored.
I thought about my talents...the ones I use daily and those that have sort of sat idly waiting to be used.
I thought about time, and how it waits for no one...that while I was sitting by not using those talents, they were being wasted and dishonored!
So yesterday, was the first day of the rest of my life.
My life is about to change dramatically...in ways that I had only ever dreamed of before.
And they say...life is but a dream!
DREAM BIG!
Song of the Day:
Inspiration came to me yesterday.
He showed me my life, a few years from now, how it could be.
He opened up my heart to the possibility of the same greatness he possesses.
He told me that I added to his potential, that by being an inspiration, I gave him more power.
He took my hand and showed me my success, if I only harnessed all my talents, honored them, and rode those bad boys til the wheels fell off!
I decided in that moment, to listen.
I do alot of coaching, helping, assisting...but this time, if only for a moment, I was being mentored.
I thought about my talents...the ones I use daily and those that have sort of sat idly waiting to be used.
I thought about time, and how it waits for no one...that while I was sitting by not using those talents, they were being wasted and dishonored!
So yesterday, was the first day of the rest of my life.
My life is about to change dramatically...in ways that I had only ever dreamed of before.
And they say...life is but a dream!
DREAM BIG!
Song of the Day:
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