Borderline

Every country has a border, the lines you see on a map where one country ends and another one begins...or where the country meets the water...an ocean, a sea, a river, etc..  If you step outside of the United States into Canada, the rules suddenly change...there are new boundaries, new laws, new customs, and new expectations of your behavior. 

When you step into my life, its like stepping foot into a new place, no matter where you have been before.  I have a set of boundaries, rules, customs, and expectations that have to be met if you want to remain in my life.  I have not always set those boundaries and expectations in stone, but they are now like my own personal Mount Rushmore, blasted into the rocks so everyone can see what rules my roost. 

I once heard this line:  If you fail to let a man know your expectations, he will always fail to meet them. 

I have always been one to let people know up front what they are getting when and if they get the pleasure of having me in their life...and if you don't think that you are a pleasure, that's another blog for another time. 
Anyhow...I let people know right away...I can be difficult, I like things my way, I am fair, I am passionate, I am dedicated, I am loyal, I am honest...brutally sometimes, I am sure of myself, I have goals and I am determined to meet them, my son comes first in my life, God is at the helm of my life, and I am not gonna take any shit from anyone...ever, period!  If that is something you can handle, then we can see where we can go...if not, you should exit at the next stop because nothing is going to change much!  In addition, I let people know what my expectations are.  You dont get to take up residence in my life and just do as you please, because there are certain rules you are going to have to follow...as I expect you to have the same. 

If at any time you fail to meet those expectations, you are gonna be in for a conversation...not an interrogation, but a conversation.  If you care about me, and I am being reasonable, it shouldn't be a big deal to work on changing whatever unbecoing behavior you have exhibited, in my eyes.  If I am being unreasonable, telling me so, giving me a change to process it, and see the error of my ways, will likely solve the problem.  None of us are perfect, I acknowledge that fact. 

So recently, I had a situation where I saw some behavior exhibited that bothered me, made me question whether I was actually seeing the situation as it was or as I wanted to see it.  I struggled with whether to say something, because I didn't want to make a mountain out of a molehill...but it was genuinely bothering me.  I searched my soul to realize that I wasn't holding on to baggage, I wasn't allowing another man's faults to come into play in this situation, I was reacting TOTALLY and COMPLETELY off of what was happening in the instant situation, and I had to speak up, to say...Hey, this bothered me, and I want to know if this is something you plan to do often, because if so, it is going to cause me to question you and your feelings towards me, and I don't want that my life. 

A funny thing happened...My honesty and my determination to have my expecatations met and to clear up any unncessary problems was appreciated and I was told that the behavior was simply meaningless, done without much thought, and would not happen again.  I had questioned myself over and over about it...and come to the conclusion that speaking up and making sure that people know your boundaries, your rules, your expectations is always the best policy...because if you fail to let them know, they will fail to meet them!